


Tidewrack

by Lulatic



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Childhood Trauma, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Past Relationship(s), and meeting the family he didnt know he had, mermaid au, thalassophobia, zagreus tries to find out about himself and his childhood by returning to where he grew up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-02-23 14:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23712721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lulatic/pseuds/Lulatic
Summary: Zagreus couldn't remember his mother. Or where he lived as a child. or his childhood at all, really. All he really has is vague memories of a boy his age, sand between his toes, and the name of his mother. But there's so much more his father refuses to share, refusing to explain why they left or why Hades kept such a strong, painful leash on him for his whole life.He leaves, with the phone numbers of estranged family he found in a rotting phone book and an unmarked key he stole, he runs.Returning to the ocean he hopes of figuring out who his mother is, and why he is so drawn to the ocean despite how much it terrifies him.or; Zagreus lost his memories in that coastal town, only to return one day looking for answers. He ends up finding people who know more about him than he does.
Relationships: Athena & Zagreus (Hades Video Game), Megaera & Zagreus (Hades Video Game), Poseidon & Zagreus (Hades Video Game), Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 164





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> this has been in the works a longass time! mostly in me thinking about it than actually like. writin it.
> 
> i meant to holdon to this chap and write more chapters before postin Anything but i am fucking tired and i want this out here. i am throwing this to you. right now

Zagreus felt both underwhelmed and overwhelmed at the same time.

The dense forest of rushing trees had devolved into green rolling hills of frothing grasslands. The paved highway had given way some time ago, when Zagreus was half in and out of sleep, having been jolted awake at a sudden pothole cracking his lilting head against the window. 

“Ahahah! I nearly felt that one too, eh nephew?” Poseidon chuckled deeply, looking away from the road for far too long to grin at Zagreus. He just blinked, not really responding as he blinked the sleep from his eyes and tried to soothe his fingers over the bump that was definitely going to swell. 

“Sorry,” he murmured, realizing all over again that there was no way that he was heard over the loud, old, full-body shaking noises the engine was making. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to drift off. Was I out for all that long?” He said, but Poseidon was already waving off his apology before the words had breached his teeth. “Not long at all! No need to worry, kid. Seems you needed some shut-eye, huh?” 

“I suppose I did,” Zag hummed, not bothering to speak over the roar of the engine or the clattering clang of rocks kicking up from the dirt road and crashing against the belly of the truck. Poseidon wasn’t listening anymore anyways, now humming along to a static laden song that Zagreus didn’t recognize during the parts he could almost make out. 

It had been only a bit over two hours into their impromptu road trip from the city and out towards the coast, and yet it was the longest expanse of time Zagreus had ever spent with his uncle-- second only to the few days he even knew he had any family besides his father. 

Frankly, when Zagreus had agreed to meet his uncle after a few texts back and forth that felt more like a one-sided conversation, none of this was what he’d been expecting. At first, he thought he was being mugged or killed. In his defense, seeing a lanky but massive man with greasy faded blue hair and a beard, wearing sun-bleached hawaiian khakis and a tank-top that was once white, pull up in a beat up pickup truck that must be older than Zag, what else was he supposed to think?

It was strange, really. All of it. 

Zag rested his elbow on the door, looking over at his uncle as he prattled on to himself somehow loudly under his breath. The truck smelt of old, aged cigarette smoke and fastfood. The seats were worn down leather, slight cigarette burns in places. There was a crack in the windshield that Zagreus assumed wasn’t entirely legal, but he didn’t have his driver’s license so who was he to say anything?

But it was strange. He didn’t know this man, who apparently acted like this was just a quick reunion rather than Zagreus discovering family who he didn’t know he had, and vice versa. He didn’t know anything; of this place they were headed, or what he’d find there, who he’d find. If he’d actually find anyone. 

This was abnormal. Far from the norms of Zagreus’s sheltered life. Shouldn’t this feel strange?

“Watch it!” Poseiden yelled, barely seconds before the whole truck violently jolted and shuddered, the bumper scraping against the ground. Zagreus dug his nails into the dashboard as he felt his stomach jump up his throat, hoping silently that the entire truck wouldn’t fall apart underneath them.

And yet Poseidon was laughing, something deep in his throat and bellowing through the truck. “Hell, that one was a tire-popper, eh?” He looked away from the road to elbow a nearly hyperventilating Zagreus, not waiting for an answer. “I’ll say, this road is the closest thing to surfing in a storm, eh nephew? But this old girl can take it.” He cooed something like a growl, smoothing his calloused hand over the dashboard. 

“I-I’d rather never experience that,” Zag pulped at the bile rising in his throat at the thought, “and frankly I’d rather never experience this road _again._ I think I’ll walk, next time.”

“What was that?” Poseidon bellowed, turning down the crackling radio for good measure, then completely disregarding what Zagreus said entirely. “Oh would you look at that! Nearly there, Zagreus! Just up ahead will be a bend around the trees and I’ll say, the view of the ocean is unparalleled!” 

His teeth clenched. “I’m… sure it is,” he said, ducking his head down and away from the window. Poseidon didn’t really notice, which Zagreus took as both a good and bad thing as he prattled on about the wide waters stretching far from this coastal town. 

Yet it was an inevitability. Zagreus knew. He knew where he was going, to an extent. Or, he once knew apparently. 

“It’s been, what, fifteen years since you’ve been back?” Poseidon said, “is that right, little Hades?” 

“Don’t call me that. Please,” Zagreus frowned slightly. “But I… believe it has, yes. I don’t… remember when we moved to the city, though.” Poseidon hummed, nodding his head. Zag felt the truck lurch as it climbed to the top of the hill, suddenly pitching forward as it practically rolled downhill. 

Zagreus couldn’t help but get a complete eyeful of it all; the sun was just tumbling down over the horizon, the clouds splattered across the bruising purple sky. The waters of the ocean were endless, shining in his eyes where the sun hit the lulling waves just right. There were scatterings of buildings, mostly centered at the ocean right at the base of a hillside cliff over the sea, houses breaking off from the center of town and crawling up the hillside like stragglers. 

He saw the ocean, more than anything else. It made something like saltwater curdle up his stomach and spike panic through the fabric of his heart. 

“It’s wild!” Poseidon said, unknowingly pulling Zag from the edge of his mind. “I know our dear eldest brother Hades was a reclusive soul, but to think he was hiding his very own son in that house for all those years! I’ll say, getting that phone call from you was sure a surprise, nephew.” 

His grin was genuine, something actually warm and fascinated in it, when he looked to Zagreus. “I’m sure you’re glad to be back, huh?” This time, he waited for an answer, eyes darting to Zag every two seconds. Wanting to know him, who he was, what he wanted of this place. 

It was strange, this feeling in his chest. Was there a word for it, what he was feeling right now? Both strange yet horribly familiar, normal. Usual. 

He caught a glance of the ocean out of the corner of his eye again, feeling nauseated. 

“I suppose I am.” He didn’t know if it was a lie or not. 

* * *

The town’s cobble streets weren’t much different than the dirt patches they’d driven down, still twisting and turning around tree stumps, stray old houses that looked as if the earth was trying to swallow them up. It didn’t help the bile rising up his throat, neither did Poseidon’s constant comments of the wonderful, gorgeous, stunning ocean. 

Still, he smiled and nodded along, soaking up Poseidon’s presence as much as he could. There was something tantalizing in this new discovery of an uncle he never knew even existed, and Zag wanted to absorb everything he could. Maybe it was useless to attempt to catch up on lost time, but he was hopeful. Even if Poseidon’s tendency to recount his ‘most intense’ surfing incidents or crashing through waves in one of his trawlers on the job.

“It’s a damned shame,” Poseidon huffed, nodding out his rolled down window towards the buildings and trees that now, thankfully, blocked out the view of the ocean. “Most are spending their time around here, livin’ here or in all the shops and stores! You’d think they’d want a view of the ocean, yeah? Well no matter.”

“Maybe some people get tired of it,” Zag interjects, “I mean, the saltwater and the birds and… what are we doing?” 

He was practically pressing his face to the window as he struggled to crank it down. Poseidon laughed something low as he circled the truck up between two old store fronts, circling a roundabout that housed a large, wooden sign: **Welcome to Nosto Algos Bay!** There was some saying underneath that Zag couldn’t quite make out, the pale blue paint chipped and faded. He had the faint feeling it said something along the lines of ‘sunniest town on the coast’ or ‘fishing capital on the coast’ at some point in time. Neither of which were probably true, but what did he know?

“The grand ol’ town hall is just around this bend,” Poseidon hummed loud, with a heavy nod of his shin down the cobblestone street they were heading. “Y’know, where that old man Zeus likes to kick back and relax. Or do ‘work’, as he calls it.” 

His heart lifted into his throat, sour and suffocating. “Ah, uncle,” zag gulped, seeing the old red stonework of the town hall approach them, “We’ve been on the road a while. Shouldn’t we just head in for the day and relax ourselves?” 

His laugh was loud, the rough hand clapped down on his shoulder shaking him down to his bones. “Oh come on now, nephew! We gotta get you meeting the rest of the family at some point! And your oldest and stingiest uncle is right here. Might as well pop in and get acquainted, right?”

Zagreus gulped. “I don’t know I--”

“ _Oh!_ And your cousin Athena, too! Always forgettin’ that girl is her father’s second hand.” 

The truck gulps and buckles as Posiedon presses on the brakes, making Zagreus choke on any protests he could have had. And, frankly, he couldn’t really think of anything tangible. Sure he could say he ‘wasn’t ready’ or that he was ‘too tired’ or something of that vein. But, really, he was more than ready. 

But what do you say when meeting family who never knew you even existed for the first time? 

The truck was parked in a spot, crooked over the faded white lines. There was a soft moment of nothing as the vehicle sputtered out and sighed, settling into place. The static noise of the radio had finally vanished from the air, and Zag felt he could breath, for just a moment. 

Was he nervous? Apprehensive? Scared? Zagreus didn’t know. He didn’t think he was; the urge to meet all of his family for the first time, to find out who they were and what they were to him, had solidified like a pit in between the spaces of his ribs. 

He couldn’t find the will to lift his hand to the door, to shove it open to the hometown he didn’t know.

“Zagreus,” Poseidon says in a tone that is shockingly light for the man, making him snap his head in his direction. There’s something in his eyes that Zag can’t quite read, but the way he smiles low makes his stomach stop turning so violently. “Everyone’s excited to meet you, I’ll have you know.” 

He nods, “I am too.” He doesn’t give himself any time to question if that’s true or not before shoving open the passenger door. 

The toe of his sneakers barely scrape against the cracked pavement as the side door of another vehicle in the small lot is pushed open. The only other car, in fact; an SUV that is in much better shape than Poseidon’s dinged up truck. 

As he shuts the door behind him, the subtle winds are much cooler than the engine warmed interior of the truck. There’s a damp, salty tang in the air that makes Zag crinkle his nose slightly. But that and the distant sound of seagulls cawing are whisked into the background when the much closer sound of heels clattering against pavement, an unsure voice saying his name? “Zagreus?”

She isn’t entirely what Zagreus was expecting, what with his first in-person introduction to his family being his loud, sun burnt uncle. Her skin is much darker, brown hair just a shade away from black hair being pulled up in a high ponytail that is braided down behind her back. Something in her feels almost cold -- the way she holds herself or the crisp clean-cut lines of her suit, maybe the golden tone in her eyes or the strict set of her expression. 

Zagreus makes a guess and prays to some god out there somewhere that he’s right. “Athena?”

Athena’s expression fails, for just a moment. He doesn’t know what he sees, what glints in the sparks in her irises or the widening of her eyes or the twitch at the corner of her lip. But she smiles softly, approaching him much quicker. 

“Ah!” Poseidon’s voice is bellowing, somehow echoing louder in the wide open air. “There you are, niece of mine! It’s been quite long, hasn’t it--”

“Zagreus it is so good to finally meet you,” Athena insists, very clearly overlooking Poseidon. She grabs Zagreus’s hand with her own, manicured nails shining purple and gold as she shook his hand firmly. “Really, that phone call I received from you some weeks back was… well, let’s say it truly did shock me.” She laughs low, then blinks and raises her eyebrows. “In a good way, I mean. Although I can’t say I _ever_ expected to get a random phone call from an unfamiliar person, claiming to be my own cousin…” 

Zagreus chuckles, resting his free hand hesitantly over the one’s still clutching his. “Of course, Athena.” He met her eyes, seeing something adjacent to shock or maybe discomfort. “It really was, ah… a strange experience all around, I believe. Although I really am thankful that you heard me out and believed me. If it was anyone else I’m sure they would have hung up on me.” 

Of course, he didn’t even have to mention the hours of explaining and convincing it took, of the phone passing between Athena and Poseidon and with Zeus’s voice chiming in in the background every once in a while. Athena had been seconds away from demanding he fax her his birth certificate, only for Poseidon to somehow end up texting him the entire time and offering to meet up in person. It didn’t take long, after that, for Zagreus to upgrade their outing to a local coffee shop to Poseidon being his chauffeur out to the oceanside town. 

He didn’t have to mention it, with how Athena retracted her hands and intertwined her fingers in front of her. Her eyebrows pinched, going to say something, only to jump at the sudden interruption of a meaty hand clamping down on her shoulder. 

“Don’t be so callous with him, hon!” Poseidon’s face wrinkled as he laughed, either not seeing or not caring that Athena tensed under his grip. “Little Hades just sat through three hours of bumpy roads!”  
“Then what are you doing here, uncle?” She said, a subtle bite in the last word. She picked at his hand with her fingers, lifting it off the sleeve of her suit jacket and dropping it away as if it was something gross. “Aren’t you to take him to your housing?” 

“Was just hoping to stop by, stretch our legs, maybe introduce him to your old man.” He hummed, bouncing on the balls of his feet with his hands on his hips. He craned his neck to look past Athena as if Zeus had been hiding behind her figure this whole time. “Is that old geezer around?”

Athena was shaking her head before he could finish. “No. Considering that it is well past 5 pm, the time he manages to shirk his job even more, he went home long ago.” 

“Well, how ‘bout the keys to Hades’ old home? I asked him about getting those earlier, so Zagreus here can settle in--”

“Certainly not.” She snapped, her face pinching as she crossed her arms. “We’ve spoken of this, Poseidon. We cannot simply _give away_ the keys to his home or allow _anyone_ onto his land without Hades’ direct permission, which we are _not--_ ”

“I--I’m sorry,” Zagreus butt in, practically pushing himself in between the two of them. “But what is this about father’s old home? He still…” Zagreus blinked, realizing that maybe he shouldn’t question the existence of this place. After all, they all thought his father had agreed to him leaving for a time. “What… what about the keys to his home?”

Athena blew out a breath, wheezing between her teeth. She turned her head away, looking down her nose with nothing as she glared at the ground. “You see, uncle Poseidon has been bothering about Hades’ old home for… quite some time. No one really knows why he even _still_ owns it, but the mortgage has been completely paid off and he hasn’t revoked ownership or sold it or anything, so it has been as it is. That _also means,_ ” she grounds out, very pointedly looking at Poseidon now, who surprisingly doesn’t waiver his own gaze, “no one is permitted access to the lot without Hades’ permission. And it continues to stay as such.” 

In the short time Zag had known Poseidon personally, it had become so painlessly easy to forget exactly who he was. But here and now, as Athena stared him down, Poseidon didn’t budge an inch. He stood, sure and confident and cocky, as if what he wanted was going to come to him despite everything Athena had said. 

The first impression Zagreus had ever gotten of him was through researching his name, finding a tall polished man in business suits with an international company under his thumb and billions of dollars to his name. He hadn’t seen it before, but his power shone through his visage now. 

He wasn’t always the best at reading the mood, but now the tense atmosphere was so thick and electric, even Zagreus could feel it. 

“I have a key.” He blurted out, gulping at the two heads swiveling in his direction. “I mean, father gave me his key to the lodge. Unless that, ah, counts as breaking and entering?” 

Athena’s eyes were wide, looking him up and down before cooling into the calm and collected expression she so easily wore. “Well,” she huffed, cleared her throat, “the key _was_ given to you. And even so, you _are_ his direct descendant--”

Poseidon’s laugh bellowed from his chest, forced from his ribs. Zagreus nearly flinched away at the hefty arm suddenly slugging heavy over his shoulders. Poseidon’s face was close, his laugh breathed out between his teeth. “Well, nephew!” He barked out, his hand clapping against Zag’s arm with each huff. “Guess we’ve got that all sorted out then! Shall we head up to that abode of yours? Get you settled?”

“Actually,” he hissed through his teeth, hoping his grin was genuine. “I, uh, was wondering if I could crash on your couch, mate? For a day at the most!” He held up his hands in a placating gesture, more as an excuse to step away than remorse for intruding into Poseidon’s life. 

“It’s just, well, I’d have to get situated, clean up father’s lodge and make sure it’s still intact, right?” He hummed, dug his teeth into his cheek, one hand thumbing at the key tucked tightly away in the pocket of his jeans. “If no one’s been in there however long, I’m sure it’s not in the best shape it’s ever been in. I’d like to clean it up a bit first.”

There was a pause of breath, a moment of consideration on both Athena and Poseidon’s part. Zagreus saw the way their eyes glanced to the other, back to him; until Poseidon shrugged, voice like a rumble in his throat. “I see nothing wrong with that, little Hades. You’re welcome as long as you’d like!”

“Thank you, uncle,” Zagreus said with meaning. His uncle didn’t waste any time in pulling him back towards the pickup truck, letting go of Zagreus’ arm only to make his way around towards the drivers’ side. Zag hesitated, turning back to meet Athena’s stare. Her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes were piercing in a way that almost made him squirm. 

“I’ll talk to you later, cousin,” he said, coming out more like a question than intended. Still, Athena nodded towards him, chin held high. “We’ll talk more, Zagreus.” 

He nodded in return, going to yank open the passenger door only to hesitate at the too soft sound of his name being spoken. Leaning back, he met Athena’s sharp gaze, unable to hold it for long.

“I’ll… I’ll check in on you.” Her eyes lifted a moment, gold flashing over the roof of the truck. “And be careful, alright?”

Zagreus smiled at her, holding back the urge to ask what exactly she meant by that. 


	2. Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :0

Zagreus’s one day of sleeping on Poseidon’s couch extended to nearly two weeks. He couldn’t really say it was accidental, or even that he was sorry; Poseidon’s home was welcoming, despite being deceptively small. It was evident that his uncle never had company, and never was expecting any. Between a surprisingly comfortable sofa serving as a bed with nothing but a small blanket that could pass as a towel, or the numerous times Zag was woken up by Posiedon’s 4am morning workout routines, it was easy to realize Zagreus was his first quest. 

Even so, it was welcoming. More welcoming that Zagreus’s own home that he had grown up in most his life. Instead of waking up to massive empty rooms or disapproving stares, Zagreus woke up the first day there to the sound of Poseidon having a very heated conversation with the fish in the 300 gallon aquarium that acted as a wall between the living room and kitchen. That one took a few days of getting used to, with Zagreus waking up multiple times in a panic thinking that someone decided to visit only to realize that he was talking to Mitchell the yellow tang fish. 

All things considered, Poseidon wasn’t home often. Waking up early, he always stormed out the front door with a flurry of noise, returning sometimes around lunch or nearer to the evenings. He always smelt of saltwater brine, sometimes the tang of gutted fish. Zagreus tried to make himself sparse, especially when his uncle was around. 

He spent hours, pretending he could be unnoticed between the couch cushions or like the dust glazed over the forgotten shelves high on the walls. He wandered the town, between trees just barely off the roads or the center of town. There wasn’t much to see, so little noise of roaring cars and traffic, replaced by the distant sound of seagulls and the ocean. 

He avoided the ocean. 

Zagreus felt like he was waiting for something. Maybe his father appeared, dragging him back by the scruff of his neck like he was an animal. Or for Poseidon to get tired of his endless meaningless conversations to fill the void, and finally kick him out. Or maybe he was weak; he couldn’t take the initiative himself, couldn’t act of his own accord. 

The cliff side hill was a sharp cut from the lands. Even when he couldn’t see it, it loomed over him. 

He had to go to it, his childhood home. The key to that abandoned lodge on the cliff burned his skin, leaving a scorched mark on the concave inside of his skull the longer he kept it out of reach. It seared at the back of his mind as the days passed. 

Poseidon was a deceptively busy person; he always was gone early in the mornings, returning usually quite late. There wasn’t anyone else to fill the void, surprisingly. Athena hadn’t tried to make much contact, rarely leaving stilted voicemails on his phone, never texting. His other uncle hadn’t stopped by at all or called him. Zagreus couldn’t tell who’s hand was at work there, if Poseidon was one to ward off his brother, or if it was Athena who was holding Zeus back, he couldn’t say. He had assumed Zeus would have charged into his life, considering how his voice clapped like thunder over the first few phone calls. 

No one else. No other cousins made their way towards him or approached him, even though he didn’t really recall their names he knew he had more family to meet.

Was he supposed to find them himself? Was it the expectation that he’d waltz into the town hall, demanding to meet his uncle? Should he be doing more?

Every action felt like too much. Every day he stepped outside Poseidon’s house, walked through the forest or along street roads until he tired himself out, it was overwhelming. 

Zagreus wasn’t doing enough, was he?

* * *

The weather had been something almost like a storm, but not quite. The ozone furled with cloudy intentions, thick and blackening like smoke. The world felt on the edge, the air damp and clogging in Zagreus’s throat. It hadn’t rained overhead yet, but between the trees he could see the horizon over the ocean smeared with heavy rain. 

It crawled over his skin, the weight of the air above him. 

Zagreus stayed inside the entire day, finding what little comfort he could lodged in between the only thin blanket he had and the couch. Poseidon had left midway through the day before, loudly mumbling about superstitious captains and unreliable workers. He told Zagreus that he would be gone out to sea for a while, more worded as a complaint than anything else. Although Zag wasn’t sure, getting mixed messages from how Poseidon’s whole visage glowed with each word.

“You stay tight, nephew!” He had chortled out, hands on his hips. “I’ll be gone only three days! Perhaps, four, or six. Most likely ten!” He didn’t elaborate when Zagreus asked what the hell that meant, in a slightly nicer way. Poseidon simply continued on with his happy complaining, again cursing the ‘pointless beliefs of sailors’ while carrying out his own ritual of touching his fingers to the old horseshoe he’d nailed above the door, as he always did before heading to sea.

On one hand, he was now worried for his uncle, still out on one of his stern trawlers under weeping sky. But on the other, each distant sound of rumbling felt as if it was in his own veins. The sky hadn’t cracked open yet, but the unsettled horizon’s mumbling made his brain rattle in his skull.

Heavy storms weren’t all that common, back in the city he left. Hail, winds, rain that hit the ground like tears, clouds heavy overhead, they all existed. But he couldn’t recall a time like now. 

Zagreus’s head hurt. 

The blanket was thin, fingers pressed into it so tightly he was worried he’d puncture the fabric. 

He willed his eyes shut, scrunched so tight his whole face wrinkled with the effort of it. Something in him ached, every distant clamouring echo of thunder raging over the ocean ignited in his bones. 

It was far. The storm was so far, not even setting close over solid land. But why was it so loud in his head? He could practically feel it, the rain pelting down on white capped waves like bullets. His skin  _ itched  _ with it. 

Even through it, the harsh, fearful pounding of his and his blood through his veins, Zagreus found his mind slipping. 

* * *

The water ripped at him. Currents tangling harsh fingers around his arms, tugging into his hair, his legs.  _ Freezing.  _

Zagreus went to gasp for air and found none; the ocean was roiling, boiling under the weight of the thunderstorm. It was above him, he could see, through eyes cemented shut with salty sands. He’d never seen white capped waves from the underside before. 

He was weak, and small, and so insignificant. The ocean yanked him around, pulled him down. 

Sharp pain laced through his back. Rocks like blades pierced through his skin, his whole body jerking as he’s throwing into the ocean floor. What little air remains in his lungs rushes up, bubbles slicing between his teeth and to the surface. 

It hurts. It all burns, the sand he’s dragged against as it fills his skin. Rocks under his flesh. Corral scrapes and cuts into his grasping, desperate hands and fingers. 

Lines like surgical cuts along the sides of his neck  _ burned  _ and a swath of rushed purple and muted grey-golds charged towards him and--

* * *

Zagreus gasps awake, pushing the imaginary sea from his throat as he hacks and coughs and chokes. 

The bile of what little he ate that day rises and Zag finds himself rushing to the bathroom, vomiting what sat in his stomach into the toilet. The dry heaving made his throat burn, his eyes watering and blurring his vision. The pounding of his heart clashed loud over his own retching. 

It took longer than he’d like for him to collect himself, nearly collapsing onto the tile floor. He would’ve, if the harsh rasp of his tongue in his throat didn’t demand his attention more. Pulling himself up to the sink took more effort than he’d like. 

His hands shook as he turned the tap on, water slicing between his fingers as he cupped water to his mouth. His shirt soaked through quickly. It left a faint taste of brine on his tongue. His gasping had slowed, somewhat. The constant throbbing of his heart melted and retreated from his ribs. He hung his head low over the sink, forcing his breath to calm to something steadier. His tongue slid over his teeth as he sighed. 

Zagreus went to stand straight, flinching a moment at the spike of pain at his neck that the movement brought. 

The person in the mirror was a mess, tanned skin bleached white with residual adrenaline. It made the thin, red scratched marks on either side of his neck stand out all the more. 

* * *

The storm had shifted from the wide expanse of the sea, dragged overhead by the wind; however, it had mellowed out into soft rain that embedded into Zag’s hair like cobwebs, leaving small marks on the pavement. 

It still rattled him, skin itching under the mist. Yet he still pulled his suitcase behind him and struggled with the too-heavy bag over one shoulder, his feet carrying him towards the cliff side over the ocean. 

It was a climb, one he both expected but didn’t entirely anticipate. The road wasn’t easy to find, Zagreus eventually having to step to a shop and ask someone. A woman, specifically, who had been sitting out front of a quaint coffee shop. 

In fact, he’d seen her there before; having walked past the small cafe almost every morning as he tried to familiarize himself with the part of town that was closest to an actual town, she was sitting out a few times. Not to mention she was in no way easy to miss. 

Her hair was bright pink, so long he wondered if it’d reach the ground when she stood. Yet it curled around her in strange ways, as if it had a life of its own. Today, she wore a thin shirt and even thinner jean shorts. Despite the round, mirror sunglasses hiding her eyes, Zagreus felt her gaze as he approached. 

The wheels of his suitcase screeched and buckled as he dragged it over the cobblestone road, yanking it over the curb. He sighed, hand on the back of his neck now that she was so clearly turned to him. 

“Sorry to interrupt, but--”

“Are you lost, darling?” She laughed, lilac nails tapping on the straw of her drink. “If you’ve decided to leave this sad little town, then the highway is on the opposite side of the town hall.” She simply hummed at the way Zagreus frowned and opened and closed his mouth, taking a long sip from her iced tea.

A-ah, no I’m not leaving.” He said at the way she raised an eyebrow. “I just can’t seem to find the road leading up to that house on the cliff.” pointing to where the rolling hills rose over the trees. It was so obvious, prominent, the wooden lodge a small figure towering over the town. And yet he couldn’t find the  _ fucking road to it. _

The woman laughed, seemingly delighted by this. “Ah! So you  _ are  _ him, the little son of Hades that has the whole town buzzing. I assumed as much, but, well I’m not one to  _ pry. _ ” She snickered behind her hand like it was a secret. 

Zagreus laughed a little uncomfortably, digging his toe into the ground. “I don’t think I… have the  _ town  _ buzzing.” What little of it there was, anyways. “Though it’s nice to meet you…”

“The road up to the lodge is an overgrown dirt path that winds up the hill from that road,” she said, completely ignoring his attempt at inquiring about her name, “just left a few paces behind that grey shabby house there. I’d say you can’t miss it, but…” She shrugged, turning away from Zagreus and reaching for her phone in a way that would be dismissive if her eyes weren’t still clearly watching him. 

“Well,” Zagreus struggled to right his suitcase, kicking stones out of one of the wheels. The shy was starting to open. “Thank you! I’ll, ah, see you around?”  
She hummed with the slightest, stilted nod, her grin a slice across her face as she scratched at the side of her neck, leaving thin red marks. “I hope you enjoy the view of the sea, darling Zagreus.” 

* * *

At some point in time, while trekking up an old overgrown, rocky dirt path that lead up around the forest hills and to the top of the cliff, that maybe he’d recognize the house once he saw it. 

He was sweaty and hot and there was sand in his shoes by the time the trees parted for the hilltop. It was grassy, something like a plateau over the ocean. The outline of wooden fences and what probably once stood as a gate over the road could barely be seen through knotted weeds and bushes. The lodge was a dark wooden structure, sandy paths swarming around it. He could see what looked like a shed off to the side of it, lopsided and it’s tin roofing rusted and looking like it was seconds away from falling off.

Zagreus felt like he was looking at a stranger, someone he’d never met before. Where he thought maybe he’d get lucky and feel something like nostalgia, instead he felt that unease itched across his skin at the saltwater breeze.

“Shit,” Zagreus huffed out under his breath, admitting to his silent defeat. The gate wasn’t an obstacle, Zag simply stepping over it where it had partially collapsed. Old wooden steps creaked under his footfalls as he walked up to the door, almost instinctively going to knock only to realize there was no point. Reaching into his pocket, pulling the key out and slotting it perfectly into the door felt like a weight off his shoulders, breathing in as he opened the door wide. 

And instantly inhaled that lovely, stale dust in the air. 

Zagreus coughed so hard the sides of his neck  _ burned  _ with his harsh movements. “Th-they weren’t lying,” he gasped out to no one, “this really is abandoned, huh?” 

The interior was a surprise, moreso than Zagreus expected it would be; it led immediately into the living room, housing all the decor and furniture as if it was still lived in. The sofa sat on a patterned green throw rug, looking slightly worn at the corners. There were floating shelves on the walls with assorted knickknacks; two bookshelves sat on either side of a flatscreen TV perched high on the wall. Curtains over all the windows prevented him from seeing further, the only cascading in from the door behind him.

If Zagreus didn't know any better, he'd have assumed the house was still lived in from sight alone. Well, except for the many, many dead potted plants in nearly every nook and cranny, and the empty smell of dust.

He sneezed, nose itching at the sensation of it. With a hand over his mouth and nose, Zag blindly felt for the wall by the door, breathing a silent sigh of relief when he finally grasped the light switch.

Flicking it on, Zag stood in the dark. 

_ Flick. Flick. Flickflickflick _

"Ah, fuck."

* * *

The sky had darkened back to the moody, mold grey colour that made the air feel damp. It was musty, coiling in Zag’s lungs like smoke. The smell of saltwater spray rose up from the ocean with it.

Firstly, it had taken some confused and slightly terrified google searches to realize that it was just the house’s electricity had been shut down, something about electric appliances left unattended and old wiring or whatever. More searches of the ‘how do I get the electricity back in my house’ variety were less than helpful; information that pertained to being the actual, legal owner of the home. Like knowing what electrical company was in your area, their phone number, where a breaker would be, those sorts of complicated things. 

So, Zagreus called the town hall.

He’d realized through this slight ordeal that he didn’t have Athena’s personal phone number. Or any way of contacting her, beyond calling her workplace and silently wondering if there was another secretary who would pick up. 

Thankfully, it’d been Athena. 

“Apologies, cousin. I should’ve expected you were going to your home and contacted Hydro in order to restore power and water there,” she said with a sigh. Zag could practically imagine her sitting at her desk, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. 

“No, don’t worry!” He butted in, mindlessly wandering around the outside of the house. Weeds and grass reached for his feet at every step. “I’d say it’s on me, mate. I should’ve called you and figured this out beforehand.” 

He paused a moment by the back, partially collapsed shed, lifting his eyes to the distraught clouds. They still roiled, irate shades of grey that threatened showers. That residual reminder of his unease the past day and day before boiled up his throat as he turned away and walked aimlessly. “I’ll be honest, this was more of a spur of the moment trip to check out the house. It’s on me for not planning ahead for this.”

Athena hummed low as Zagreus picked his footing around rocks and uneven ground, the land slanting down under his feet. There was a moment of silence, the sound of her humming nearly unintelligible. The  _ clackclack clack clack  _ of a keyboard sounded loudly, before she clicked her tongue. “Ah, okay. I’ve sent word. You see, the electrical and water to that house has been cut off for… nearing ten years, I believe. To avoid pipes bursting or electrical fires, of course.”

“Of course,” Zag echoed impulsively at the brief silence in order to fill the void. She continued after an agreeing hum, Zagreus covering his other ear with his free hand to focus on her voice over the sound of water. “Although, it isn’t instant. If anything, it’ll take a few days. I’ll try to press them to come here quicker, but their hours are strange and they… don’t typically like taking day trips out to Nostos Algos.” 

Zagreus frowned, wind rustling through his hair. He sucked in a breath between his teeth, skin flaking under his nails as he scratched the side of his neck. “It’s… well that sucks, I won’t lie. But I’ll make due. Thank you so much, Athena--”

“Zagreus, before-- before you leave…” she interrupted, Zag halting in uneven sand as he waited through her hesitant silence. “I, ah, have been… meaning to contact you, but didn’t know how beyond wandering up to Poseidon’s front door and hoping you responded before he did.” She said his name with a huff, giving Zag that feeling that maybe he was missing something here. “I’m just saying that I’m… glad you called. And, we should. Uhm. do something?”

“We could… go for coffee or something? I mean, there’s that one coffee shop near town hall. I don’t know if there’s any other places but we could go there?”

“Hm, sounds all good to me. Have a good day, cousin. Enjoy the ocean view.”

Zagreus winced, going to say something about how he didn’t think he could, or that he’d avoid the ocean as much as possible, but Athena had already hung up. 

Without the distraction of the voice in his ear anymore, Zagreus exhaled deep as he dropped his phone into his pocket, breathing in the salty air. 

As soon as he blinked back into the world and out of his phone, he realized two things.

Firstly, his need to keep moving mindlessly while on the phone, that desire for  _ some  _ sort of motion while he had talked with Athena, had lead to him wandering down a winding path along the cliff and right to the edge of the ocean.

Secondly, he wasn’t alone. 

His heart dropped, an ice cold stone down to the sand around his feet. The shallows were full of sharp, craggy rocks like teeth, the subtle ocean waves echoing like thunder in his head as they crashed against them. The water stretched on, endless; he could practically feel it around him, suffocating him and pulling the air from his lungs. 

Movement out of the corner of his eye made him flinch, turning to look towards the rocks outcropping where the rock cliff dives down into the water. Rounded boulders and stones, algae and seaweed cluttered in the nooks and crannies. Zagreus squinted, seeing a shock of blue that was only slightly darker than the ocean.

It took him a moment to realize that it was a woman. She sat against the far side of stones, Zagreus only able to see half of her: a long swath of light blue hair tied into a ponytail, only a few stray hairs free around her hairline; shining gold in her ears, around her neck and head that Zag couldn’t see details of; her face was pinched, elbow rested on the slick green rock as she almost angrily tapped her fingers against her jaw, glaring into the wave.

Zagreus almost wondered just how she had gotten here or how long she’d been here or how she seemingly hadn’t noticed him. But that was all brushed aside when he noticed how, even with the long distance between them, her skin seemed almost blue.

“Fuck,” he hissed out between his teeth, wondering how  _ long  _ someone would have to be in the freezing ocean to turn  _ blue.  _ He went to his phone, other hand stretched out as he waved and yelled. “Hey!” 

Her whole body tensed like an animal cornered, her glare turning to wide eyes as she saw Zagreus. He simply kept waving, phone ready. “Hey, miss? I don’t know how you got over here, but are you oka--”

“What the  _ fuck?” _ She screamed, her voice sounding deceptively soft despite the way she sneered, words echoing violently through the air. She was fully facing him now, eyes so harsh that Zagreus completely stopped, tensing up like she did. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water. “U-uh... what? Are you okay?”

“No I’m fucking  _ not, _ ” she huffed, pointing a sharp nail straight at him, “Zagreus! Who do you  _ think you are? _ ” He froze at his name, squinting. “I-I’m sorry? Do I know y--”

Movement behind her made him freeze once more, clamping his mouth shut. She bristled at him, shoulders rising up to her ears, all in the same time as writhing masses rose from around the rock, creeping and coiling purple over the boulder.

“I can’t…  _ believe  _ you!” She growled out, her teeth more like sharp, jagged fangs behind her pink lips. She lifted herself up fully, tentacles like that of an octopus lifting her whole body up and writhing different shades of reddish violets. 

“You disappeared for how many fucking  _ years  _ and now you act like  _ you don’t know me?”  _ She shouted after him, but Zagreus’s blood was pounding too loud and panicked in his ears as he bolted up the hill, fear and confusion white hot in his throat as he closed himself in the house. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this actually took in a direction i didnt intend but i dont mind. hope you enjoyed!


	3. Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been a while! i've been fucking busy and like. a lot been goin on in my life rn lmaoooo. so i havent found either the time Or the energy to really write much of anything.
> 
> this Was supposed to be much longer actually. but i figured doing 'smaller' chapters and posting them would be a better idea than just writing a horrifying amount of words and taking eons to actually Write It. also hopefully it'll make writing feel less taxing now. 
> 
> hope you enjoy!

The old dust stirred up into the air at his rushed escape, making his gasping breaths strangling. He wheezed, coughing and hacking up his lungs into his fist. Something like the rancid, acrid taste anxiety rose up his throat. 

Zagreus gave in to the old musty air reaching between his teeth and stumbled over to the door. As soon as his fingers touched the cold metal doorknob, he hesitated-- for only a moment, before coughing out a curse and shoving it wide open. The air that immediately swept in was salty and made him wrinkle his nose. But it was already clearing his throat.

Maybe it was the way that each deep breath dragged the ocean into his lungs. Or maybe it was the scattered, stranded sensation he’d been hiding in his hollow bones ever since he’d discovered old, water-stained photographs and a crudely labeled key hidden in his father’s room. Maybe Zagreus was just tired and  _ exhausted  _ with himself. 

Whatever it really was, either the way he’d felt on the brink for the past few weeks, or the way his blood and mind had settled without question of  _ what,  _ exactly, that woman in the beach  _ was _ \-- Zagreus breathed in, found the suitcase he’d left on the slanted front steps, rolled up his jacket sleeves, and he got to work. His mind was rushed and swirled and full of questions without answers; he shoved it all back, away from the forefront of his mind. 

Another instinctive flick of the light switch confirms that power hasn’t reached the house yet. “No shit,” he huffs at himself silently, scratching the raw rash that had started creeping up his neck, his shoulders. A horrible time for his hives to flare up, truly, but he’d known it’d be brought on by the damp air. He’d have to deal.

He resorts to finding every single window and opening it as wide open as he can; both for the sake of light, and to bring fresh air into the empty rooms. This ends up being easier said than done. The living room window looks to the ocean, an expanse of blue that makes Zag suck in a sharp breath. He simply averts his eyes, pulls on the creaking old lock, and jerks it open. It’s stuck, and the wood creaks in a harsh way that has Zagreus panicking and thinking he broke it at first. 

The whole house fares the same: wood floorboards creak under his weight as he tiptoes around; the doors into the bathroom and a bedroom on the first floor screech against their hinges; his movements leave a trail of shoe prints in thin layers of grim and dust over the floor. 

Eventually, enough light is free to filter in to the point that Zagreus could manage to look around and take it all in. 

Something is so… underwhelming about it all. 

Some furniture had obviously been left behind in his father’s rush to abandon this house, leaving a sofa in the living room, a wide patterned green rug thrown over the wooden floorboards. There’s an old tube TV, coloured grey with the dust settled over the black screen. It’s all so strangely mundane, the small notes of  _ living  _ on floating shelves, old pots with dead plants in them and cutlery left in the drawers of the kitchen. 

The sense of abandonment is swathed over every dusty room, and yet it still seems like a lived-in  _ home _ more than anything Zagreus remembers. 

He clenches his jaw. His eyes sting for a moment, just a moment. Zagreus sucks in a sharp breath, leaning heavy on the wooden log wall. His skin  _ itches  _ and he drags his nails like claws through the rash on his neck, mind caught on where he was and what he’s doing and that  _ woman  _ down by the beach; lonely houses and his father’s red-eyed glare and  _ water  _ surging in his  _ throat-- _

A rapid, stern knock on the front door made him jump out of his skin, heart lodging deep in his throat. There's a flash of panic in his mind as he imagined coiling tentacles writhing and rolling out the crack at the foot of the door. Zag snapped his head back towards the entrance so harshly he surely gave himself whiplash, breathing a strange sigh of relief when he saw nothing.

He was hesitant to open the door still, with his heart rushing in his ears. But he just sighed out a low breath, pulling the door open a little too harshly.

Athena seemed to jump slightly at the sudden movement, but she steeled over her widened eyes and cleared her throat to collect herself. She seemed amused with how confused Zagreus was, looking to her with an eyebrow raised, glancing to her SUV parked awkwardly past the fence. She opened her mouth as if to respond, frowned ever so slightly and hesitated. “ah,” she hummed out low. Athena fiddled her fingers, seemingly unsure of what to do with her hands. 

“I… sorry to intrude.”

“It’s--it’s nothing, Athena,” Zagreus said quickly with a dismissive wave of his hand. Even  _ he  _ could tell that this frazzled, unsure figure she cut in his doorway was not usual for her. “I’ll admit I wasn't expecting you, but I wasn’t up to much. I was just…” He gulped, looking back over his shoulder like a curling off purple plume of tentacles attached to an unfamiliar figure would be right behind him. “... just airing out the house, is all. A little dusty, isn’t it?”

“I… yes, it  _ really  _ is,” she says with a crinkle of her nose. 

The resulting pause is awkward and uncomfortable, neither person knowing what else to say. The distant quake of gulls’ cawing in the air and the subtle crashing ocean made Zagreus tense again.

“Would you like to come in--”

“Oh,  _ gods  _ no.” She scoffed under her breath, eyes instantly widening at her own words. The look on her face was of a child that had done something inexcusable. “I-I am so sorry cousin I… didn’t mea--”

Zagreus’s laugh was harsh between his teeth, choked up from his throat in a way that he hasn’t felt in… well, a long, long time. 

“S-sorry,” he managed to snort out, his lopsided grin bearing teeth. “It’s just… you’re so  _ frazzled. _ ” Athena’s stare is hard, at that. Something scratching across him. He doesn’t feel as much like a butterfly pinned under a board. But he still avoids eye contact. 

Whatever she was looking for, or  _ wasn’t _ looking for, Athena seems to find her peace. With a nod of her head, Zag sees something close to a genuine, friendly smile on her face. “If you’re not busy, would you want to go grab that coffee now?” 

* * *

The offer of coffee or tea or whatever Zag wanted at the cafe apparently extended to a trip to the store. The second that Athena had turned off the main road and into the small parking lot, he’d gone to complain and say that she didn’t have to. 

But the chivalry died on his throat quickly; partially because of the determined look she gave him, but mostly because he was extremely hesitant to use his credit card. The small trips to the cafe and to the grocery store so he actually had something edible to put into Poseidon’s fridge had dried up the cash he’d stored away. Hades had forced any and all bank accounts under his name. He didn’t want to imagine his father’s expression when he’d see where, exactly, he was using his credit card. 

Cleaning supplies were what they agreed on: he quickly started refusing any groceries after Athena gave him a particularly nasty look at the sheer mention of instant noodles being good enough for both dinner and lunch. 

The coffee shop was a surprise in itself. He hadn’t noticed it before, and frankly he didn’t understand why in the world a tiny town like this would need multiple cafes but what did he know?

It was a little off the path, although Zagreus couldn’t help but notice it was probably only a short walk from the town hall. It was nestled in trees, trim white siding and massive clean windows staring into the interior. It distantly reminded him of the kinds of places he used to pass on his wandering walks in the city. If he ignored the harsh cracks through the stonework flooring of the front patio, of course. 

“Thank you,” Zagreus said again, for what was probably the tenth time and far from the last. He cradled the large hot chocolate Athena had bought for him in his hands, attempting to sap the warmth from it. 

“Stop thanking me,” Athena said without any bite in her words and a wave of her hand. “I  _ offered.  _ And… besides, I haven’t done enough to reach out to you.” She chewed on her lip, taking a sip of her own drink; some sort of caramel latte, Zagreus thinks.

The lapsing silence stretched, interrupted by the sounds of rustling trees and the occasional wheezing truck barreling down the road.

Zagreus felt the silence to be more stifling than comforting, unlike Athena. She seemed strangely at peace. Her eyes were out to the forest, something serene and thoughtful smoothed over her face. The crease between her eyes and the tight smooth line of her lips were relaxed, for once.

Well, Zag couldn’t really say much; he barely knew her, beyond the stiff and professional woman he’d first met. Then again, even walking between the thin aisles of the grocery store, she’d been almost calculated. Guarded, maybe. Would only give a quick nod or a hello to people who recognized her, didn’t even respond to the cashier’s attempts at small talk. 

He was never a good judge of character. He tended to glaze over some things, not really understand gestures or sayings or expressions. He’d been told it constantly by his oh-so loving father that he ‘didn’t know his place’.

He wasn’t going to learn any time soon.

“What’s the matter, Athena?” He said. Accidentally catching her mid sip of her own drink, Athena turned her head too quickly. She flinched and harshly coughed at the steaming tea that spewed out and over her chin, eyes wide as she yelped. 

“ _ Oh--  _ oh god!” Zag jumped up to his feet, pulling napkins out of the dispenser at the center of the table. “Oh god I-I am  _ so  _ sorry.” He shoved the napkins towards her harshly, the massive amounts he pulled out slipping between his own fingers. “Are you--”

“I’m fine,” Athena interrupted. She took the napkins, dabbing at her face and the slight drops on her blouse. “I was just… on edge, I suppose.”

Zagreus’s frown deepened at this; he could’ve sworn she seemed more content, serene than anything. Was he misinterpreting what this entire  _ get together  _ truly was? “On edge? Athena, what do you mean?”

The silence was palpable. She didn’t look to him anymore, head ducked towards the surrounding underbrush with her eyebrows furrowed deep. Zag almost repeated himself; perhaps he was misheard -- only to snap his jaw shut when she sighed and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Zagreus, I… I mean, you’ve been here a number of days now--”

“Two weeks.”

“...Ah, y-yes. Anyways I--”

“Closer to three, I think--”

Athena huffed and interrupted with her hands held up. “What I’m trying to say is,” she breathed out, “you’ve been… I haven’t been receptive enough, cousin. I… haven’t done enough, I wasn’t very… kind, I don’t think.”

Zagreus balked, more stunned than anything else. “Hold on, wait. I don’t think you’ve been  _ unkind-- _ ”

“But I should do  _ more-- _ ”

“And frankly, I haven’t been as… I haven’t been  _ actively  _ reaching out to you, either.” he said it with a huff, lips pinched. It was true, really. He’d holed himself in Poseidon’s home, walked down random streets just to avoid the path towards the town hall. 

There was another lapse in silence, Athena simply looking at Zagreus as he tried to look back. She didn’t seem… unhappy, anymore. But something in the corners of her mouth and the dark of her eyes made him feel dissected. 

“You’ve caused quite a stir in our family, you know.” She said suddenly. “Or, well, I guess you  _ don’t  _ know. But, trust me, there’s a lot of questions and speculation and bad blood coming to the surface because of you. Although, I’ve realized that’s a good thing.”

“Wait, what kind of--”

“I want to help you meet everyone.” She interjected. She sounded almost  _ excited,  _ nearly leaning forward over the table. “My father, Dionysus, Ares, and Artemis. My father will be the easiest to meet, of course. But my siblings… well they don’t exactly enjoy living here, I don’t believe. 

“But,” she says with a grin, interlacing her fingers loosely, “I have managed to keep in touch with Artemis and Dio. Ares, well… I can figure that one out.” 

Zagreus was at a loss. It was a lot to take in, a lot of names to remember and  _ effort.  _ It was daunting, really. He hadn’t realized just how much it could take to reconnect with his family. Athena had brought it into perspective, and more than she knew. Zagreus recalled the woman on the beach, the old salty-water stained photographs of a younger himself he didn’t recognize and a woman he almost did. 

He could swear he could still hear the waves crashing, how far they were. 

Words pushed against the back of his teeth, his mouth falling open, closing, open again. The words he should say didn’t make it. 

“Thank you, Athena. Really. Your help, it… means a lot to me.” 

Her smile was bright. “It will help us all, I’m sure.”

* * *

The sun had begun to drift down the horizon, the sky peeking out between the dense graying clouds colouring orange, then pink, then purple. He saw the ocean as he walked up the winding path, hesitating as he stood near the edge of the cliff side over the beach. Fading sunlight bounced in bright yellow off the softly roiling waves. 

It was beautiful; it made Zagreus’s stomach twist and his heart race. 

He’d wanted to ask Athena about it, the ocean. So badly, something almost like remorse weighed heavy in his stomach. 

Athena hadn’t stayed any longer; she looked down to her watch, nearly spat her drink out, and began to panic about being late for… something. It had gotten lost in the mess of pulling crumpled bills out of her purse, throwing back her still steaming hot drink without even flinching, and nearly running down the street before running back for the phone she left on the table.

Still, he wanted to say something. Maybe admit his fear of the waters he now lived above, ask of people within the ocean, of women with tentacles in place of legs who seemed to know who he was. 

But as Athena shoved a paper in his hands, he couldn’t find the words. It brought something like bile up the back of his throat, made his teeth feel heavy in his jaw. 

Zagreus smoothed the wrinkled slip of paper between his fingers, not quite opening it to look at the phone number that had been written out. She’d said not to call for a few days, something about her sister hating phone calls. He wasn’t feeling up for it anyways. 

It wasn’t like he was expecting the power to be miraculously working when he returned home, but all the windows were dark and the house itself felt unwelcoming.  _ Cold, _ even. In fact, the air itself had acquired a chill to it, like the slowly drifting sun was pulling all the heat out of the air. He didn’t know why he was surprised by this; in fact, it seemed fitting. The door stuck as he unlocked it, having to shove his weight behind it as it jerked open. Zag put just the slightest anger into it as he slammed the door shut, the walls shuddering slightly. 

He hadn’t even gotten his shoes off before there was a knock at the door. 

It was small, soft, and yet Zagreus tensed up. His heart leapt to his throat. The irrational thought of the ocean creeping in, up the shore and slithering under the door like tentacles crept into his mind unbidden. 

He tried to calm his breath, too focused on his harsh beating hard to notice how his breath so slightly froze. 

Steeling himself, he pulled the door open wide. He flinched when it nearly slammed into the wall, gulping it down.

He didn’t recognize the woman standing there. Really he couldn’t see much of her face; a black sun hat sat on her head, the rim off it massive and drooping over her visage. Her dress was something almost fantastical, swaths of silky indigo and off-red purples cascading down to her feet. All she wore was wet at the edges, Zagreus noticed, when she reached up to the edge of her hat and droplets fell with the motion of it. Her nails were more like claws, tipped with colour.

“Oh,” she breathed out low, her voice so light and airy Zagreus almost felt like it had drifted right away from him. “It’s been many years, child. I… didn’t truly believe you were here, but it seems Megaera was right.” 

It felt almost instinctual, the feeling of unease that settled deep in the marrow of his bones. Yet he couldn’t act on it; he didn’t  _ want  _ to. The idea of slamming the door shut on this woman and closing himself into the house until the chill in his blood abetted wasn’t even an idea in his mind. 

When she smiled, despite the pointed, almost translucent teeth behind her lips, the warmth in her eyes felt more genuine than Zagreus could grasp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYYY i loved this one. particularly the end actually. if you cant tell i dig monster chicks. don't tell my hades server that shhhh
> 
> so i also edited all earlier chapters to be named 'part 1'. it's mostly for the sake of like. organizing according to how I'm currently imagining the progression of this fic. we're nearing to the end of part 1! 
> 
> i hope you liked nyx's description. she's based on the deep sea dragonfish w a Little vibes from the vampire squid cuz i was torn between those two.


	4. Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short! sorta! i wanted the initial nyx and zag conversation to be somewhat on its own in a chapter.  
> ALSO this is like. the last chapter in part 1! wahoo
> 
> I have a playlist for inspo for this fic that I always listen to while writing: [my mermaids? playlist lmao](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2Ewus8Z6IMS8Z77IHPp3xj?si=OvmSMbcbS1COzuFIz37m4Q)

Everything about this woman looked out of place, as if her very existence was paradoxical. 

Zagreus didn’t really know why he let her into his house. 

The door felt louder than it really was as he shut it behind her, not quite able to look directly at her yet hesitant to look away all the same. The fact she didn’t take her shoes off at the door stuck in his mind, as absurd as it was. A quick look and - she wasn’t wearing shoes anyways. That irked him for some reason. 

She moved in a way that was almost fluid, sharp yet soft to some rhythm he couldn’t feel. She was abnormal, walking through his entrance and to his living room. She looked like she didn’t belong in reality. Yet Zag watched the way her eyes scanned over the entire house, tracing over the walls and the floors and the decor with a sense of familiarity that made Zag clench his jaw. 

“I’d, ah…” Zagreus clicked his tongue, the silence feeling clogged between his teeth. “I’d offer you a cup of tea or coffee or… something. But, well… I can’t.”

She met his eyes then. There was some sort of amusement on her face, more like she was watching a puppy tumble over it’s own feet. “Don’t you worry about your human customs with me, child. I find the ideas of your hospitality to be… redundant.”

Zagreus blinked, gulping down the idea he had suspected this whole time. “M… my human… oh-okay I’ll… just…” 

He blankly walked around her and into the kitchen, his head twirling and writhing with something just left of confused fear. He didn’t really think as he pulled the cupboards open, the movement doing nothing but stirring up old dust again. He wheezed and coughed, recoiling harshly. “Sh-shit--”

“Zagreus,” she said from directly behind him, making him jump forward instead. He whirled around, having to look up at her to meet her eyes. Seeing her closer, he noticed the spots along her cheek bones, right under her eyes. With nothing but the sparse light seeping in from the far windows, he could see the way it glowed. 

He’d decided then he’d had enough. 

“Okay, okay. You know what? Okay.” He huffed out harsh, hands held up towards her like he was ready to push her back if needed. “Coming to this damn town has been the weirdest shit in my life. Like,  _ seriously.  _ And I don’t know what’s up with you or that th-- _ person  _ in the ocean and the whole ‘human’ shit you were saying but I got to say, I’m not too fond of it!”

Now, she frowned. “Zag--”

“How do you know me!” His voice was loud, the empty house echoing it all around and back to him. “You’re saying my name and I’ve never  _ told you that  _ and acting like you know this fucking house! Waltzing in here and looking like this is some returned visit! Who  _ are  _ you? How do you know me? What the fuck is going on here?”

He wheezed in a breath, his face warm. The enflamed skin on his neck itched with the strain of it, collecting his breath. More words and screams and wails threatened to crack out through his teeth, boiling over from deep in his gut. But for once he bit it down, teeth digging into his tongue. 

The woman was stunned. Or, as much as she could be. She didn’t say a word, her eyes tracing Zag’s face for… something, he supposed. Or maybe nothing. 

“...I’m sorry.” She breathed it out low, and for some reason it alone knocked the breath and the anger from Zag’s lungs. She paused again, taking the time to thread and weave together her words. 

She stood almost stiffly, not twiddling her thumbs or fiddling with anything. Simply standing so straight-backed, no movement of discomfort or uncertainty. She hummed low in the back of her throat, more like a guttural purr. 

“I’ll admit, Zagreus. I… was unsure how to go about this. But I--”

Zag put up his hand, glad that she simply looked at him and waited for him to interject. “Could you just,” he sighed out, “start from the beginning? Please? Even just your name for gods sake. I just… I don’t… understand.”

“Nyx.”

“What?”

“My name.” Nyx said, punctuating the words slowly with a hand soft over her chest. “You can call me as you knew me, child. I’m nyx.”

He gave a fish-eyed stare at that, gulping down his shock. “I… I don’t know you.”

She nodded slowly. “Yes, I suppose… You… Zagreus, you know that you once lived here, in this home, I presume?”

Zag bit into his lip, a little confused now by what ‘from the beginning’ could entail. “I… yeah? I mean I don’t really remember it myself but--”

“Precisely,” Nyx interjects now. “This was your home, my child. And I… I didn’t know how much you could’ve recalled, if anything at all. It’s… a shame, I suppose. With all the years that have passed…”

“W-wait.” Zagreus exhaled, pulling the air into his lungs deeply. Goosebumps rose up over his skin, the hair on the back of his neck raising. His heart was thundering harsh behind his ribs. “Wait. wait wait wait. What are you talking about? What do you  _ mean? _ ”

Nyx moved with a subtlety as if she hadn’t moved at all; all Zag knew was that she was right in front of him now, looking down at him with a way he hadn’t seen before. It made him feel almost sad. 

“I watched you grow up, Zagreus,” she hummed out, “on the shores under this house. My shores. You hadn’t taken to swimming quite yet, although my son took that as more of a challenge than anything.

“You, your… father, and your mother owned this house from the moment you were born, until your mother couldn’t take it anymore.”

The room was cold. Zag could almost swear his breath was frosting in front of his face, his fingers turning blue as he clenched his fists. “She… my mother? You knew her?”

“We come from the same depths, yes.” Nyx cast her eyes down, not really looking at him as she nodded slowly. “Persephone. Your mother was lovely, and courageous. A true spitting image of you, as I saw when you were younger.”

He clenched his jaw, teeth grinding together. “No, wait. You’re being vague and… my mother and you came from…”

“Your humans have many differing terms for us, I believe. I can’t say I know any; I’m not fond of traversing the surface here as you do. But your mother is a being of the ocean, just as I am. And my daughter, whom you met on the beach that day, and--”

“ _ You're a mermaid.” _

She paused, thought for a moment, then nodded. All the while Zagreus’s mind was trying to implode. “That does sound familiar, yes.”

Zag’s hands were tangled deep in his hair, pulling at his scalp. His breath felt harsh, lungs constricted by something snaking through his ribs. Nyx gave him just enough room in the kitchen to pace back and forth. “M-my mother… you’re saying that--”

“Your mother was a… mermaid, Zagreus.”

He was breathing heavy. He clenched his jaw tight, unclenched it. Nyx didn’t say a word as he tried to calm his breathing, to keep it collected and level without gasping for air like he was drowning. But that’s how it felt; everything at once had collapsed over him, pushing him to the seafloor. His nails dug sharp into the palms of his hands. 

“But that’s…” He wheezed out, frowning and biting down into his tongue. He couldn’t exactly say it was _impossible_ : all he could really recall of his mother was long hair, a laugh, something like damp sand under his feet and bigger hands holding his. He didn’t know his mother. He had no real, tangible, solid memories of her. Or himself, or _anything_ important, really.  
Zagreus gulped down at the acid bubbling up his throat, leaving a bitter and acrid taste on his tongue. “But what does… what does that make me, Nyx? Why don’t I remember? You… you knew me. You mentioned others. Who am I?”

The look she gave him was something trying at sympathetic, but it showed more in her voice than the lines of her face. “I see this is a lot. Zagreus, you are who you are. You aren’t changed from this. Your lack of memories may be traumatic, but attempting to dig them up at the source may be moreso, and for nothing.”

His teeth worried lines into his lip. He felt like his mind was spinning, spiralling. He felt completely drained and so, so tired. His chest hurt. “Traumatic… what do you mean?”

He could never trust himself to read people. But now, he could say it with certainty just as much as the sudden drop in the air. The warmth of the day as it slid away and out past the horizon seemed to all so suddenly vanish, leaving behind nothingness. He gasped in a surprised yell, arms wrapping around himself. 

Nyx looked sad, hurt. Her expression is downcast, but something angry and fierce stuck out in the turn of her eyes. “When your mother… left, I mean. Something happened with you and your father, I believe.”

Zagreus’s soul hardened into ice, his stomach dropping. “Wh-what? My father?”

Nyx looked up at him, her eyes meeting his. Her expression melted slightly, her gaze shifting and searching over for… something. But he felt almost pinned down. “My child,” she breathed it out like an apology. “I… I’m sorry, truly. But it’s not my truths to say to you.”

All he could do was stare. “…what.” Nyx shook her head sadly, morose with her movements. Zag watched her move out the kitchen for a moment, left stuttering in her wack, before he livened up and followed after her. 

“Wait,” he gasped out, Nyx pausing just at the door. “ _ Wait.  _ you’re  _ leaving?  _ But you--you must know more!” She hummed back in her throat, looking back to him as she opened the door. “I’m afraid I must go, child. I need to return to the ocean. This takes too much of a toll on me.”

He huffed, behind her as she slipped out the door. The sun had steadily dispersed and left the sky darkening shades of blues and greys, the slow clouds blotting out the stars that were starting to bleed through the veil. The ocean itself was so strangely soft, the surface nearly like glass. It fit Nyx perfectly. 

“Nyx!” He groaned it out, trying not to pout but probably failing. “You can’t just leave like that! I have  _ questions.  _ I need to know who I was! Who did I know? If my mother was a mermaid, what am I?”

She walked slow down the path a ways, facing towards the winding trail down the cliffside to the shore. Nyx turned to him over her shoulder, a smile most likely meant to be soothing coming off as more menacing, displaying the thousands of almost translucent needle like teeth. 

“Zagreus,” she said, “you are your mother’s son. Her identity as a mermaid is a part of you, too. I know you want more from me, much of which I can never give. But I can say that, with certainty, you can possibly meet her one day.”

He blanked, blinking a few times. “Her… my mother? She’s alive?” Nyx gave a slow nod, and a laugh that sounded like crisp waves against the sand. 

She made her way to leave, Zagreus having to bite down hard on his tongue to keep from saying more, asking any more, so hard that he tasted blood. But she seemed to have another thought, yelling just a few more words in the wind. 

“Come down to the shore more, Zagreus. You and Megaera should reunite properly. And my son Thanatos misses you dearly.”

He couldn’t say anything else, couldn’t bring himself to. He stood on the front steps as the stars began to bleed through the sky. 

* * *

He dreamt sometimes. 

Mostly of the ocean; tidal waves dragging him under, rocks bursting through and embedding under his skin. A shock of lightning and thunder existing only in the trenches of his brain would shake him awake with a beating heart. 

His father’s voice. The sound of his harsh tone. His hand slamming down hard on his desk as a threat. What could happen if he looks for Zagreus. 

He dreamt a lot. 

It wasn’t all horrible. 

He slept on the couch that night, after Nyx left. The plastic sheets draped lazily over some furniture left it less dust-ridden than the only bed left in the children’s -- in his old room. 

He fell asleep and dreamt of a boy he might have once known. Of sand under his small feet, of laughter and a kid’s voice berating him half-heartedly from the water. Hands that looked ashy in his own. 

For the first time in however long, Zagreus slept the whole night and well into the morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you diggin it! i dig writin it lmao  
> hmu on my blog [shoezuki](https://shoezuki.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> ay. thank you for readin! i cant promise an exact time for when i hope to get another chapter out but HOPEFULLY it's soon. i have a lot of freetime this summer after all lmao.
> 
> follow me on twitter at [lulatiic](https://twitter.com/lulatiic/) OR my tumblr [shoezuki](https://shoezuki.tumblr.com/). Altho twit is more hades stuff rn


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